A Delighted Ian Gorst today
Social Security Minister Ian Gorst today revealed that he has been a zombie for the duration of his States career and that he hopes that his success as an undead Politician will lead others to consider working not only past retirement, but past death as well.
In fact, the Minister plans to bring a proposal to the States in the coming months that will see the retirement age pushed to at least ten years after death, in a bid to tackle the next financial crisis looming for the Island .
Dressed in a gray suit with pallid skin and a sombre face, Mr Gorst (known as Igorst to friends) was every bit the picture of health for a man ten years past vitality. He told Utter Crapaud
“This scheme will finally be the breakthrough that Social Security has been looking for all these years! It will enable the public to keep on working until the world ends, or until the States deficit has been paid off – whichever comes first.”
“We’re faced with an aging population and our choices are limited – massive taxation or living death. In essence you have the option for either the Treasury and Resources Department to bleed you dry or for a vampire to do it; so it’s Senator Ozouf whichever path you choose.
The response of the general public has been mixed to positive. Mark Duchemin from St Lawrence told us
“I’ve worked as a senior accounts clerk for a mid sized trust company for the last twenty years. I can’t see how eternity as a middle management zombie would be any different.”
Ransoms have reported a moderate boost in the sales of garlic, wooden steaks and pitchforks.
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